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To get the biggest bang for our bucks when I leave, I suggest we do the following..." I went on to describe my Noble Sacrifice idea.The parents weren't happy with it. They thought it mostly unnecessary because no one in DC had forgotten the last scare only a few days ago, when the Surveillance Problem had been exposed. A significant proportion of the last scare's evacuees hadn't returned yet. For the limited benefit of another reminder of what the angel could do, my plan was deemed too dangerous. The Government had called my bluff and it simply wasn't worth the risk of repeating the same punishment.Mom suggested something very different and simple: to announce that God had decided that the last incident plus the Government's refusal to abide by the Guardian Angel's orders meant that the US Government was irredeemable, and God was washing Its hands of America, including Its deciding that my soul can be put to better use somewhere other than on Earth. It's giving me some time to say. "14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION."Stop acting like your father!"15. My mother taught me about ENVY."There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION."Just wait until we get home."17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING."You are going to get it when you get home!"18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE."If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."19. My mother taught me ESP."Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"20. My mother taught me HUMOR."When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT."If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."22. My mother taught me GENETICS."You're just like your father."23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS."Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"24. My mother taught me WISDOM."When.
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